Photo By Maj. Cynthia Holuta | Married soldiers, Capts. Dave and Maria Gregory are both deployed to Regional...... read more read more
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MAZAR-E-SHARIF, Afghanistan - Marriage is hard. Ask any couple no matter how long they’ve been married and they’ll tell you it takes work. Throw in long periods of separation and a war on top of that and it becomes that much more difficult.
Such is the case for two dual military couples in the 10th Brigade Support Battalion of the 1st Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division who are currently deployed across Afghanistan.
Of the 130 dual military couples in 1st BCT, 24 of the couples are in the BSB, and of that three of them are officers holding a command or leadership position.
The first couple, Capts. Dave and Maria Gregory are both company commanders in forward support companies in the 10th Brigade Support Battalion.
Dave is commander of Company F, 10th BSB in support of the 1st Battalion, 87th Infantry Regiment and Maria of Company G in support of 3rd Battalion, 6th Field Artillery. Though they are in the same battalion each is located at a different Forward Operating Base.
Dave, currently located at FOB Kunduz in north east Afghanistan met his wife Maria, currently located at FOB Griffin in north west Afghanistan, during a land navigation course at Transportation Officer’s Basic Course in Fort Eustis, Va., back in 2004. They began dating in 2005 when they were both stationed at Fort Drum, New York where they were quickly separated due to opposite deployment schedules. During their courtship, the two Soldiers took their Rest and Re-cooperation leaves together whenever possible and spoke on the phone or e-mailed each other as often as possible.
“I think the biggest challenge for me is being apart from Dave,” said Maria. “Dave and I were never in sync with each other’s timeline so whatever time we got to see each other we made the best of it.”
When Maria was home on rest and recuperation leave from her deployment with 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division, in July 2009 she and Dave decided it was time to get married and had a small ceremony with family in Las Vegas.
When Maria redeployed to Fort Drum, she requested to be transferred to 1st Brigade knowing that they were getting ready to deploy again in January so that she and Dave would be on the same deployment cycle.
The couple agrees that knowing the ins and outs of each other’s job is a good advantage, especially with the plethora of acronyms the Army uses.
“Communication about a hard day at work would be even more frustrating if you had to explain the situation and all the acronyms to a nonmilitary spouse,” said Dave. “It is nice to have a spouse that speaks the language too.”
The Gregory’s also agreed that finding time to spend together is probably the most difficult part of being dual military.
They celebrated their first anniversary July 4 at Camp Mike Spann, located in Mazar-e-Sharif, Afghanistan when they both had business to conduct. They were able to enjoy the day together and look forward to quality time when they redeploy.
The second couple, Capt. Blair Didomenico is a company executive officer in the 10th BSB and is married to Capt. Joe Didomenico who is an operational planner on the 1st Brigade staff.
The Didomenico’s met in the Virginia Military Institute Pipe Band where they were both attending in Lexington, Va. Though they met in 2004 during Blair’s freshman year and became friends, they did not start dating until after Joe graduated in May of that year. They married three years later on May 26, 2007.
You could say the couple started their lives together being separated due to the schools followed by subsequent deployments. But despite the separation, the couple enjoys that they know firsthand what the other one does for a job.
Having someone to share the whole military experience with is one of the biggest advantages said Blair who is currently stationed in Kandahar, Afghanistan.
“We both pretty much understand what the other is going through and we can help one another through the many ups and downs,” she said.
Joe said he thinks it funny that he can speak “Army” with his wife when they are at home.
“Sometimes we talk in acronyms while we are cooking dinner,” he said. “And more often than not when we choose to do things on our weekends, there is a clearly defined intent, and a task and purpose that allows us to achieve our end state.”
But as with anything, the advantages don’t come without challenges. Finding time to spend together and worrying about each other’s safety are two of the Didomenico’s greatest struggles.
With Blair away and running convoys in southern Afghanistan, Joe worries about her safety while he remains in northern Afghanistan at Camp Mike Spann.
Earlier in their deployment a Hungarian Provincial Reconstruction Team soldier’s wife was killed the day after he left to go home, when her convoy hit and improvised explosive device on its way to the airport. This “hit close to home” for Joe.
“It gives you an uneasy feeling knowing that this deployment is not over for you or your wife until you both have your feet back home,” he said.
Of the three deployments the couple has endured to both Iraq and Afghanistan, this is the first that they resided in the same place, even if it was for a short time. Joe and Blair spent the first three months of their deployment at Camp Mike Spann located near Mazar-e-Sharif when Blair was serving as platoon leader for Company A, 10th BSB’s Convoy Security Element.
“There is just very little time to spend together in a deployed environment,” said Blair. “You almost struggle to get time together, and when you don’t live together that is another challenge. Eating meals and walking around the FOB together is great and all, but it’s just not the way a married couple should have to spend their time together. It often made us wonder if it would be easier doing this apart from one another.”
Overall, the couples agree that while being dual military has its added challenges; it is not much different than any other marriage. All marriages have their high points and low points and its how you communicate and work through them that are key.
Blair, who had the unique experience of being the spouse at home during Joe’s first deployment and being deployed at the same time as her husband and with her husband said that keeping busy and reminding yourself that it is all temporary, is the best way to deal with the challenges.
She said the keys to staying together are, “not forgetting what life is like when you’re together, and communicating as much as you can, and just understanding the circumstances that you’re both under.”
Both couples take advantage of any chance they might get to spend together while they are deployed and look forward to their return home to Fort Drum in mid-March.
| Date Taken: | 12.14.2010 |
| Date Posted: | 12.14.2010 23:23 |
| Story ID: | 61981 |
| Location: | MAZAR-E-SHARIF, AF |
| Web Views: | 916 |
| Downloads: | 6 |
This work, Love and War: Two couples thoughts on dual-military marriage, by MAJ Cynthia Holuta, identified by DVIDS, must comply with the restrictions shown on https://www.dvidshub.net/about/copyright.
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