Photo By Spc. Courtney Marulli | Sgt. William R. L. Port, a member of the personal security detachment of Headquarters...... read more read more
Subscribe
By Spc. Courtney Marulli
2nd BCT, 2nd Inf. Div. Public Affairs
FORWARD OPERATING BASE LOYALTY, Iraq — For fathers deployed to Baghdad, it's hard not to be home to experience every new step their young children take or cheer on their eldest during a sporting event. Despite this sadness, they stay positive about what they are doing for their families and take advantage of the readily available Internet in order to stay in somewhat constant contact with those they love back home.
Many members of 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 2nd Infantry Division missed out on a lot of their children's lives by being stationed in Korea, making the historical deployment from Korea to Iraq, resettling at Fort Carson in Colorado and then returning to Iraq once again.
Sgt. 1st Class Larry M. Burden, the battalion motor sergeant with Headquarters and Headquarters Company, 2nd Brigade Special Troops Battalion, was one of those Soldiers.
"This deployment is better than my last deployment," he said of being able to have Internet in his room and talk to his family via webcam. His first deployment took him to Ar Ramadi.
Burden, 33, of Colorado Springs, Colo., has been in the Army for 15 years and is currently on his second deployment to Iraq. He has three children, two of which are dealing with his absence for a second time.
For Emily Burden, 10, and Bryan Burden, 9, it's hard when their father leaves. He said since he and his first wife divorced, when he is gone, his children don't have that parental connection.
They are cared for by Burden's wife, who has a 15-year-old daughter named Amanda Brooks. Burden said she isn't as affected by his absence.
"I talk all the time on the webcam," he said. "They see I am doing well."
The Internet is a blessing, Burden said, because at Christmas he was able to watch his children open their presents via webcam, and they could see him and show him what they got.
When the brigade was deployed to Ar Ramadi, Burden said he would get to call home about once a month. But with Internet in his room and phone centers nearby, he is able to keep in touch regularly. But, keeping in touch still doesn't make it easy for his children when it comes time for him to deploy.
"My daughter has always been really attached to me," he said. "So it's a little bit harder on her than my son."
Being a parent in the military isn't easy, but living the military life is something Burden always wanted to do.
"There's a lot of stuff you have to sacrifice being a father and doing what you got to do over here," he said. Despite the distance, Burden said he and his wife talk to their children and his daughter, Emily, also talks to her friends at school whose parents are also deployed.
"It's a better life style they have with me in the Army than with me there," he said. "This is what I do. They understand."
Having to leave your children is never easy, especially when they are very young.
Sgt. William R. L. Port, a member of the personal security detachment of Headquarters and Headquarters Company, 2nd BCT, left his wife and two small children behind when he came to Baghdad for his second tour to the Middle East.
Port, 27, of Pleasant Hill, S.C., and his wife, Nichole, 25, work together to keep the children informed on where their father is and why he has to be gone.
"My wife does a great job taking pictures," he said. "She recently bought a video camera and sends me videos, but you miss a lot."
The Port's have two children, Leea, 3, and Carson, who will turn one later this month.
"When I left to come over here the first time, my daughter was four months old," Port said. "This time my son was three months."
Even though he misses out on helping with diaper duty, Port said it's hard to know that he's missing the small moments in his children's lives. However, Nichole sends him photos and made him the best gift he ever received.
Port pulled out a small photo album that has pictures of him and his children, Nichole with the children and the whole family together. He keeps it in his right pocket at all times, wrapped in a protective plastic bag. He also created a collage of family photos that he has on his wall.
Port, who was in the National Guard the first time he deployed to Iraq, said this deployment feels a lot different than his first did.
When he deployed with the National Guard, he said he felt like he was coming over here for his family, and with his family, since he had cousins that deployed with him. It felt like he was going to right a wrong, he said.
"It felt like a patriotic duty," he said of deploying while still holding down a civilian career. "Not that I don't feel that now. But now, (as an active Army member), it's my job. I'm just going to work."
Either way, he said it's very hard to be away from his family. However, he and his wife decided together that having him go active duty was the best decision for their family. He said being in the military always felt like something he was supposed to do.
Port said being in the military isn't a bad life, especially back in garrison.
"When I'm not deployed, I get more time with my family back in the rear than I did with my civilian career," he said.
But it's always hard to part from those you love. Port said even though he's on his second deployment, leaving his family never gets easier.
"There are things you learn in the first deployment that makes the second easier," he said. "It is the same for my family."
Port said he thinks his daughter understands where he goes in her own way. Before he deployed this time, he said he sat down with Leea and told her that he had to leave.
"She said. 'I know,'" he said. "I told her I have to go to work and be gone a long time. She said. 'I go, too.' It broke me up."
But, even though she is sad herself, Port said Leea is always talking to Carson about their dad and telling her brother that dad is at work. She also shows Carson her photo album with pictures of their father in it.
"She's a great big sister, a great help," he said.
As for Carson, he's still too little to grasp the concept of a deployment, but Port said he understands in his own way.
"They know, even if they don't understand exactly, they know something's going on," he said.
Port said children want to be talked to and it's important for parents who are deploying to explain that there is a reason for their absence and that they aren't just leaving.
With Internet readily available, Port says he talks to his family nearly every day. But, even if he only has time to call for two minutes, he does so his family can know he's okay and so he can know they are doing fine.
Even though he takes pride in being a great father, Port said it's his wife who deserves all the ribbons during a deployment.
"The one person that makes it possible is my wife," he said. "She's been very supportive, a great mother."
Port said that basically for a year, other than financial means, she is a single mother of two young children.
"By my wishes she moved back home to be near family," he said of Nichole and the kids going back to South Carolina. But his family will once again relocate back to Colorado Springs so they can be there, waiting with open arms, when he gets home.
"She's my rock," he said. "She keeps it all together. She's the one who gives me my pep talks on the bad days."
Another father who has weathered a previous deployment is Staff Sgt. Joseph D. Salomaa, a topographic analyst with the 2nd BCT's Headquarters and Headquarters Company, who recently welcomed his third daughter into the world.
Salomaa, 27, a native of Mansfield, Mass., said he and his wife, Stephanie, deal with the deployments as they come, but it is a sacrifice every time he leaves.
The Salomaa's have three young daughters who all deal with their father's absence differently. Apryl, 5, is the one who is most affected because she is old enough to be aware of what's going on, Salomaa said, whereas Ella, 2, and Ava, three weeks, don't feel his absence the same.
"Ella is too little," Salomaa said, "just young enough. She may have asked for me twice when I left and said 'I want Daddy,' but other than that it's fine."
As for the newest edition, she doesn't even really know who her father is since she is still too young, Salomaa said.
Even though leaving his family is a sacrifice and he misses out on raising his children, Salomaa said he is proud to be in the military as it provides his family a stable future financially.
The last time Salomaa deployed he was working in finance, so he had his own computer and talked to his wife. But, at that time they had just had Apryl who was three months old so they didn't really deal with the hardship of explaining to a child why her father was gone.
This time, Salomaa said he talks to his family via webcam and will watch as Apryl types her and her sister's names. The true burden of explaining the deployment to their daughters lies on his wife's shoulders.
"In the past it was not a huge deal," Salomaa said of how his children took him leaving. Recently, however, Salomaa said his wife has caught Apryl crying alone in her room. Her sudden sadness seems to stem from him recently returning to Iraq after two weeks home on leave.
Stephanie keeps the children occupied with frequent visits from family and with trips to California, he said.
Salomaa said he can't really remember what it was like when Apryl was born as he was gone, but when he was home and held Ava in his arms, he realized the next time he sees her she'll be seven months old.
"You miss out, but you stay busy, you get in a routine and it's not as bad," he said. "If you only thought about it then you would be on suicide watch until it's time to redeploy."
While Salomaa keeps himself busy with work, he still feels the pain of leaving his family and found it harder to leave them when returning from leave than it was to part with them when he initially left.
Salomaa's best advice for new fathers is to realize that it's harder on the father than it is on the newborn because they don't have that personal recognition yet. He said it's easier to leave when they're young but harder when they are older.
If there is a positive side, Salomaa said, showing his humor, is that he and other fathers of newborns are probably getting more sleep while they're over here than they would back home.
Sgt. Derek A. Moore, a service non-commissioned officer working in the motor pool with Headquarters and Headquarters Company, 2nd Brigade Special Troops Battalion, said he is not really happy with Father's Day since he recently welcomed his first child into the world and is now missing out on her young life.
Moore, 25, and his wife, Annette, 23, welcomed Savannah into the world in February. The family barely had time to bond as Moore had to leave soon after the birth to return to Iraq.
"It's kind of weird," Moore said of being a father. "It's cool, but you don't really know because you're not there. I'm going to miss out on basically the first year."
He said he won't really know how it feels to be a father until he returns home and can help with diaper duty, give her bottles and just hold her while she sleeps.
Even though he is upset at his situation, Moore realizes he doesn't have it as bad as some fathers who have been in the unit awhile.
Many Soldiers in the brigade were stationed in Korea where they were separated from their families. Then they made the historic deployment from Korea to Ar Ramadi and then returned to Fort Carson, to turn around and deploy to Baghdad, missing out on a lot in their child's lives.
Moore said if those fathers had a child before they went to Korea, they ended up missing out on three years of their child's lives instead of just one year or a few months.
In order to stay in touch with his family, Moore said he talks on the Internet a lot, but doesn't call home that much since he talks via webcam.
"I can listen to her and she can listen to me," he said of talking to his daughter via webcam.
This is his second deployment and Moore said sacrifices are just part of being in the military.
"Sacrifices," he said. "Everybody makes sacrifices and that's one you make."
| Date Taken: | 06.13.2007 |
| Date Posted: | 06.13.2007 11:35 |
| Story ID: | 10804 |
| Location: | BAGHDAD, IQ |
| Web Views: | 422 |
| Downloads: | 360 |
This work, Father's Day in Iraq: How Soldiers stay in touch with those back home, by SPC Courtney Marulli, identified by DVIDS, must comply with the restrictions shown on https://www.dvidshub.net/about/copyright.
No keywords found.
