Photo By Donna M Cipolloni | PATUXENT RIVER, Maryland (Feb. 9, 2017) - Ray Leonard Jr., son of boxing champion...... read more read more
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Because of his celebrity dad, his godfather was Muhammed Ali, he played basketball with Michael Jordon, danced onstage with Michael Jackson, met Nelson Mandela, and even chatted with the Queen of England during a trans-Atlantic voyage.
But, as Leonard admitted during a recent presentation at NAS Patuxent River, all was not as it seemed.
“There was alcohol, drug and domestic abuse in my family, and I thought it was normal,” Leonard said, addressing a crowd of Sailors and civilians at a U.S. Fleet Forces Destructive Behaviors workshop held at Center Stage Theater Feb. 9. “What was happening on the inside of our family was very different from what we projected on the outside.”
Leonard discussed the destructive behaviors that permeated his childhood, even describing one particular instance where, as a young teen, he walked in on his parents after his inebriated father had just struck his mother.
“I backed out of the room and down the stairs and I felt so guilty for not helping her,” he said. “That moment in time made me feel like I was less than a man, and that’s hard to take at 13 years old. That insecurity kept building in me over time.”
A product of the dysfunction that helped shape him, Leonard began drinking, smoking and “doing craziness” as he got older.
“For me, when I was drinking, I was screaming out for help,” he said. “Eventually, I had to look hard at where the insecurity was coming from and realize that a lot of it was from what I saw when I was younger.”
Once Leonard was able to do that, he found what he calls his “why” — the reason that’s bigger than some of the decisions he wanted to make, and it started to change his life.
“For me, that ‘why’ was when I had children,” he noted. “It started to change my life because I’d start thinking of that first rather than my destructive behaviors. I was finally able to move forward and avoid the same cycle my extended family was in.”
With over 20 years of experience as a professional manager and organizational consultant in the sports, entertainment and finance industries, Leonard teamed with the Navy about three years ago and began visiting installations to tell his personal story in the hope of helping people recognize and understand destructive behaviors and their impact on those around them.
“The first step is recognizing you have a problem, because when you’re in the middle of it you can’t always see that you have an issue,” he said during an interview following his presentation. “There may be some friends and good people around you who can give you some information, but you have to take a look within yourself to see if there’s an issue, and then find out where that issue is coming from.”
Leonard admits it isn’t an easy thing to do.
“One of the hardest things for me to think about was getting help; talking to someone else,” he added. “But asking for help isn’t a weakness, it’s a sign of strength. It takes more courage to open up and tell somebody about your most vulnerable weak points than it does to hide them.”
Today, Leonard’s mother — who dealt with further abusive relationships following a divorce from Leonard’s father and once attempted suicide — is turning her life around and speaks openly about domestic abuse. His father, Sugar Ray, has been sober for over 10 years now and openly speaks about his past, including being a victim of sexual abuse early in his career.
“Our dysfunction is now our redemption because we found our way out of it,” Leonard said. “The greatest thing about being present in the moment to tell your story is that there is always more to write. If you make that decision to move forward and do better, there’s always opportunity.”
| Date Taken: | 02.09.2017 |
| Date Posted: | 02.17.2017 09:54 |
| Story ID: | 223956 |
| Location: | PATUXENT RIVER, MARYLAND, US |
| Web Views: | 76 |
| Downloads: | 0 |
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