Photo By Sgt. 1st Class Rakeem Carter | Eleven families from 4th Cavalry Multi-Functional Training Brigade pose for a group...... read more read more
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MASON, Ohio – As a thick, gray blanket spread across the sky, husbands and wives with vibrant spirits filed softly into a quiet room Valentine’s Day morning. At the front stood an unassuming man whose gentle demeanor and inviting smile put to rest any reservations about what lay ahead.
With their children off to enjoy a day of fun nearby, the couples found their seats and glanced down at their copies of Gary Chapman’s “Five Love Languages: Military Edition,” excited to learn all they could during the Strong Bonds marriage retreat.
“I don’t know about you, but as a man I want to know how to better communicate with my wife,” said Chaplain Lt. Col. Tommie Pickens, the 4th Cavalry Multi-Functional Training Brigade chaplain, his voice filling the void of the room. “I want to know how to identify my wife’s love language so that I can be intentional in meeting her needs.”
Pickens kicked off the three-day Strong Bonds retreat at Great Wolf Lodge, and as couples discovered each other’s love languages the room seemed to burst with laughter and love.
Strong Bonds is an Army-wide program which is unit-based and chaplain-led and assists commanders in building individual resilience and strengthening the Army family. Events are conducted as offsite retreats in order to maximize the effectiveness of the training and are provided at no cost to Soldiers, offering a fun, safe and secure environment in which to address the stressors a military lifestyle can cause.
“The Army has adapted and put a lot of resources behind Strong Bonds to be able to help our families,” Pickens said. “They understand that stronger relationships means a stronger Army.”
Specific training is offered to single Soldiers, single parents, couples, families with children and any Soldiers and families facing a deployment.
“There is a multitude of training designed for Strong Bonds that can range from ‘Seven Effective Habits of Healthy Families’, ‘Five Love Languages’ and ‘I got Your Back’ for single Soldiers,” Pickens said. “So Strong Bonds encompasses the holistic Soldier and family.”
Pickens said he really believes in the program because he has seen its impacts first-hand within his own family.
“As a facilitator, I’ve been able to put into practice what I’m actually facilitating,” Pickens said. “I actually take it home and share it with my family. That’s how I can gauge that it’s successful.
“Every opportunity I’ve had to teach Strong Bonds I’ve learned something from it,” he said. “I learn not just from what I teach but what my family teaches me.”
During this particular event, Pickens gave couples a test to discover their primary love language, which were: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch.
The couples then learned what impact communicating in their spouses primary love language could have on their marriages, enabling them to also better meet each other’s emotional needs.
Pickens said meeting those needs, and communicating your own are important in a marriage, but you must learn to be effective.
“Everyone wants to be an effective communicator,” Pickens said. “It’s a skill.”
A skill Soldiers and families of 4th Cav. MFTB were able to hone while they spent much needed time together.
For Soldiers like Sgt. 1st Class Darryl Jones, an observer coach/trainer assigned to 3rd Battalion, 409th Brigade Support Battalion, 4th Cav. MFTB, that meant a lot.
“We needed some family time,” said Darryl Jones, who brought his wife, Jessica Jones and their two children, Darryl, 7, and Nevaeh, 6. “With work every day and picking up kids from school we just needed some free time to bond.”
Darryl Jones, a native of Radford, Virginia, said he met his wife Jessica Jones at a professional boxing match in 2013.
Jessica Jones said the relationship came at a crucial moment in her life as she was finishing her 10-year career in the Army.
“He’s been with me throughout my transition out of the Army,” said Jessica Jones. “It’s been great to have his support.”
The Jones’, who have been married for three years, said they’ve tried several times to go to a Strong Bonds event, but the timing was never right. Jessica Jones, a native of Huntington, West Virginia, grinned cheek to cheek as she expressed her gratitude for the opportunity to attend the recent event with her family.
“We had been trying to go to a [Strong Bonds event] for a while now and the timing just didn’t match up,” Jessica Jones said. “This one came around and so we said ‘Let’s do it!’”
The Jones’ did not leave disappointed, and understood how valuable the training on the five love languages at the retreat would help enrich their marriage.
“We [finally] got a chance to see what each other’s love language is,” Jessica Jones said.
She added that she’s always joked with Darryl Jones about what their love languages might be and has tried to spark his interest in taking the time to learn them. After finally learning them, Darryl Jones agreed it was an important part of their relationship.
“For a while now she has been trying to get me to understand the five love languages, so once they showed us the military side with this new book that they have, it brought another perspective,” Darryl Jones said.
Being an observer coach/trainer, he said he spends a lot of time traveling. For a family that spends so much time apart, the Jones’ said the Strong Bonds program was invaluable in helping to build resilience within their family.
“With me being gone so much, being able to do this kinda’ [event] brings us all together,” Darryl Jones said.
Bringing families together and building resilience is what the Strong Bonds program is all about, according to Pickens.
“The core mission for Strong Bonds is to increase individual Soldier and family readiness through relationship education and skills training,” Pickens said. “The Army understands that a strong and resilient Army family means a ready individual Soldier.
Over the past year, more than 130,000 Soldiers and family members have participated in over 3,700 Strong Bonds events.
Soldiers who are interested in participating in a Strong Bonds event, or who would like more information about the program, should contact their unit ministry team.
| Date Taken: | 03.01.2018 |
| Date Posted: | 03.15.2018 17:10 |
| Story ID: | 267727 |
| Location: | MASON, OHIO, US |
| Web Views: | 34 |
| Downloads: | 0 |
This work, Strong Bonds enriches strong relationships, by SFC Rakeem Carter, identified by DVIDS, must comply with the restrictions shown on https://www.dvidshub.net/about/copyright.
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