Photo By Brittany Nelson | 1st Lt. Jonathan Rozier was killed in action while deployed, making his wife, Jessica...... read more read more
When Jessica Johns married an U.S. Army Soldier she never imagined she would soon be a Gold Star spouse.
A Gold Star spouse is a husband or wife whose partner passed away while serving in the U.S. military. They are the survivors of their fallen Soldiers.
Johns met Jonathan Rozier in college at Texas A&M University. Rozier was in the Corps of Cadets and four days after he commissioned they got married, Dec. 18, 2001.
“I thought he was very handsome,” said Johns. “He was very attentive and paid a lot of attention to me. He was a really good boyfriend, fiancé and husband.”
The newlyweds headed to Fort Knox, Kentucky, where Rozier received training before they moved again to Fort Riley, Kansas.
“Shortly after we got to Fort Riley he deployed to Kuwait,” said Johns. “He was the first wave over to the Kuwait border.”
Rozier, a tank platoon leader, never returned back to the states where his wife and new son were awaiting for his arrival.
“He was at a traffic control point outside of a building,” said Johns. “A truck came through stating they were on their way to bury a body. They let it through the checkpoint but the ‘body’ was alive and started firing upon them.”
During the fight 1st Lt. Rozier was killed by a rocket-propelled grenade July 19, 2003.
Johns left Fort Riley soon after Rozier with killed in action.
“Immediately the commander at Fort Riley said we could stay as long as he was the commander,” said Johns. “I wanted to be away from the uniforms, I was done, he died and I was done.”
Johns headed back to College Station, Texas, where she raised her son and fell into a serious state of grief.
“I was so depressed,” said Johns. “The only time I felt good was when I was home and didn’t have to do anything. I basically sat in my house for nine years. There are so many of us that do that.”
Johns said that if someone had come into her house they would have said, “OK, you are not fine.”
“I had a child to raise,” said Johns. “I was 22 and barely knew what I was doing to start with. My entire life changed. I was out there in the wind.”
After a long period of secluding herself, Johns stumbled upon a few nonprofit organization groups on Facebook that did retreats for war widows. She started to get involved with American Widow Project and was introduced to the Gold Star community.
“I went on a couple retreats and it was great,” said Johns. “We didn’t have to explain ourselves or why we felt the way we did. We were on the same journey at different stages. It was incredible to talk about it and talk about their deaths without having to hide things.”
In 2012 Johns went with the Gold Star spouses on a hunting trip in San Antonio, Texas, where she met Chief Petty Officer Peter Johns, a wounded warrior who volunteered for a nonprofit that does hunting trips for wounded warriors.
Johns started to date the wounded warrior and wanted to get involved in the nonprofit. She suggested to Johns that they add hunts for widows as well as the wounded warriors.
“On our first hunt we brought four widows out and they were taught to hunt by the wounded warriors,” said Johns. “It was neat to see the camaraderie between the wounded warriors and the widows.”
Johns said that naturally over the course of the weekend you could see the healing happening.
“One told me, ‘You are such an inspiration and you’re doing so well. It gives me hope for the future,’” said Johns. “When I hear that it makes me want to do this forever and help as many as I can.”
In 2014 she married Johns, and they have been hosting hunting retreats for wounded warriors and Gold Star spouses since.
Johns said she continues to host these hunting trips because of how much they have changed her life and pushed her to move forward.
“A lot of widows shutter themselves in unless they have something that can push them and tell them this is not the end of their story,” said Johns. “I wanted to do that for other people. I want them to feel what I felt and still be able to move forward and have a good life.”
Johns and her husband have also started to do hunts for children in Gold Star families.
“It is nice to be able to give back, the ranch has done so much for us,” said Johns. “It’s great to pass that on to the Gold Star and wounded warrior community.”
Gold Star Spouses’ day is observed every year on April 5. The observation is a chance for the nation to recognize the resilient spouses who are the legacies of their fallen soldier’s service and sacrifice.
“Even though there are so many of us there are a lot of people who don’t know what a Gold Star family is,” said Johns. “It’s important to have a day so we can tell them what it is and explain to them. It is another way to keep those Soldiers alive.”
Johns honors her late husband through the hunts and says it is important to keep him alive in stories and acts of service.
“As long as we are out there saying his name and doing things so they remember him, he is not just a name on a wall, he is still alive,” said Johns.
If Johns could give one piece of advice to a new Gold Star spouse it would be to “Hang in there, even if it is all you can do, just hang on.”
| Date Taken: | 04.01.2020 |
| Date Posted: | 04.01.2020 12:32 |
| Story ID: | 366337 |
| Location: | US |
| Web Views: | 796 |
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