Courtesy Photo | Tech. Sgt. Donecio Burnell-Chester, 51st Fighter Wing noncommissioned officer in...... read more read more
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With more than one million U.S. active duty service members at any given time, only about thirty-thousand of those have sworn “until death do us part” to someone who has also promised to support and defend.
Marrying military-to-military, while relatively rare, is not unheard of. However, well-known facts of military life are the challenges they can bring: deployments, permanent changes of station, leaving friends, family and more. To face the potential of double the trouble? Less than ideal. To face all those setbacks with someone who understands? Priceless.
“The life of a mil-to-mil couple can definitely come with its challenges,” said Staff Sgt. Tiffany Burnell-Chester, 8th Maintenance Squadron unit training manager. “We both can have really busy days, sometimes even some late nights. The good thing about being mil-to-mil is we can relate in many different ways when it comes to the military lifestyle.
“It allows us to be more patient with each other when it comes to work, our schedules, last minute taskers, etcetera,” she explained. “Currently, we only see each other on weekends, since he is stationed at Osan and I am here at Kunsan.”
Tiffany, and husband Tech. Sgt. Donecio Burnell-Chester, 51st Fighter Wing noncommissioned officer in charge of occupational safety, arrived on the peninsula prepared to make the most of the time spent apart, together.
“We always try to make a point to make time for each other during the week,” Tiffany said. “Even if it’s just eating dinner or watching a TV show together. We also make sure to plan dates and trips as well.”
However, in the Republic of Korea, dates can become their own adventures, especially when getting together always means making a road trip.
Being geographically separated by roughly two hours traveling distance, this hurdle doesn’t compare to the distances they’ve faced in the past, which have never stopped their relationship from growing.
“When we originally started dating, she was stationed at Malmstrom Air Force Base, [Montana], and I was stationed at Robins AFB, [Georgia],” Donecio said. “With us both being Security Forces, working different shifts, and being at different bases, it made long distance dating very challenging. We physically saw each other only two to three times a year, max.”
They continued to endure the distance until they were married in 2016, and received orders for a Permanent Change of Station to Davis-Monthan AFB.
“The second toughest challenge was in 2018, when we both got deployed within the same year,” Donceio added. “She left in January, and then I got a short notice task in June. I had only 48 hours to square everything away on my own while she was gone. It caused an overlap and we didn’t see each other for nearly the entire year!”
When facing obstacles that were completely out of their control, the Burnell-Chesters buckled down and used multiple strategies to relate to one another through the tough times.
“Effective listening and communication is probably the biggest thing for us,” Donecio said. “Sometimes one of us will have a rough day and will just want someone to sit down with and vent, or talk to. We give each other advice on workplace situations, mentorship, career paths, goals, self-improvement.
“Giving support outside of work is important as well. For example, taking care of an errand the other can't get to, or picking up on tasks around the household when needed,” he continued. “We tackle everything with a team approach.”
Both being Security Forces Airmen, the Burnell-Chesters have worked as a team through many career changes where their value of teamwork, and for each other, has grown.
“Quality time is huge,” Donecio added. “From big trips, down to simple things such as date nights, watching TV shows together, cooking together, playing video games, etc. Words of affirmation are very important as well. Verbally expressing thanks, or letting each other know that they are appreciated.”
The role of a U.S. service member can take a toll on those who support them on a day-to-day basis, sometimes particularly for ‘mil-to-mil’ couples. However, there are seemingly simple solutions allowing the Burnell-Chesters to pull each other through.
“Communicate, be supportive, be understanding, be flexible, and put your best foot forward,” said Tiffany. “The life of a military family can be an absolute roller coaster, but as long as you work together you can get past any and all obstacles.”
| Date Taken: | 05.06.2022 |
| Date Posted: | 05.06.2022 03:41 |
| Story ID: | 420098 |
| Location: | KUNSAN AIR BASE, BUSAN GWANG'YEOGSI [PUSAN-KWANGYOKSHI], KR |
| Web Views: | 120 |
| Downloads: | 0 |
This work, Military Spouse Appreciation with the Burnell-Chesters, by SSgt Mya Crosby, identified by DVIDS, must comply with the restrictions shown on https://www.dvidshub.net/about/copyright.
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