Photo By Winifred Brown | Liz Dalton is a military spouse at the Presidio of Monterey, Calif.... read more read more
PRESIDIO OF MONTEREY, Calif. (May 11, 2023) – In 1984, President Ronald Reagan established Military Spouse Appreciation Day with Proclamation 5184, recognizing the countless sacrifices and contributions made by military spouses since the days of the Continental Army.
In 1999, Congress officially made Military Spouse Appreciation Day part of National Military Appreciation Month to recognize the many sacrifices military spouses make, as they put their personal and professional aspirations aside for their service member.
Military Spouse Appreciation Day is observed annually on May 12 as a salute to all military spouses, past and present.
“On this special day I want to acknowledge the significant contributions of our military spouses and express my heartfelt appreciation for their commitment, dedication, resilience and unwavering devotion to family and community,” said Col. Sam Kline, commander of U.S. Army Garrison Presidio of Monterey. “I see the Army’s center of gravity as the Soldiers and their center of gravity are spouses and family, which is to say that spouses play a key role in our nation’s defense.”
The sacred role of the military spouse can be challenging, as spouses take on a greater responsibility to relocate the family and ensure general life commitments are met. Military spouses are nurses, teachers, financial planners, culinary specialists, resource managers and more. Many sacrifice their own careers to keep their family unit together. They also fill critical jobs within our government and in their local communities. Some volunteer to offer support and find enjoyment in helping others or finding their own niche.
Thank you to the four Monterey military spouses who shared their personal experiences, perspectives and advice and for this article.
Alie Finocchiaro, Army spouse of Lt. Col. James Finocchiaro, Defense Language Institute Foreign Language Center Inspector General
Q: How long have you been a military spouse? Were you also in the military or was the military lifestyle new to you?
A: “It’s hard for me to believe but it’s been 22 years! I did not grow up near a military community, and my only experience was a few uncles who were active duty; it was certainly not part of my day-to-day life. When we were married, my spouse planned to do five years and then get out to pursue a different career. Then September 11th happened, deployments began, and before either of us knew it five years had passed. He was gone for more than half of those first years, so I am very thankful for the support of our military family!
I had lived in the same home since I was 4 years old, and my parents still live there, so moving three times in those early years was different and difficult. For the service member, they start work and immediately meet people. For the spouse it takes effort to go out and meet other spouses or people in the community. I’m an introvert, so putting myself out there, inviting people to meet up, accepting invitations, it’s all outside of my normal comfort zone. I’m thankful to say I’ve found some of the most amazing people around the world through opportunities only available to me because of my military affiliation.”
Q: Tell us about your most memorable military spouse experience. Do you have a favorite duty station or dream duty location?
A: “Memorable isn’t always good! We moved internationally from Belgium to Kansas when I was six-and-a-half months pregnant, and we had an almost 15-month-old. We knew that the housing wait was a nightmare, our car wouldn’t arrive for at least six weeks, and household goods would take even longer. It was tough! Finding and establishing new healthcare, tracking down a home, just getting our feet on the ground, it was all exhausting. Also knowing we’d only be there for 10 months made me want to pack up and head home. But the [Child Development Center] was amazing, and my daughter loved it. We found a cozy home, not too far of a drive. I slept on an air mattress for longer than I’d like to admit, but our [household goods] arrived mostly intact. When baby number two arrived, we were mostly ready to welcome her! I’m thankful for the spouses in my husband’s unit, and the local friends I met in the community.
As for my favorite duty station, that’s a tough one. We’ve been stationed at nine duty stations and never in the same place twice. There have been good and bad things about all of them, but there’s always something we miss. Maybe it’s a great restaurant, or that amazing home, or the cool neighbors that we just clicked with. We have even had landlords turn out to be awesome people to work with and a few who started out OK and then really become difficult. We’ve visited most of the bases again, showing our daughters where we lived before, they were born, or the house we lived in when they were born. It’s been fun revisiting the memories, but I think my favorite duty station is the next one. I’m most excited about the next new adventure! I love each one and when the time comes, I’m ready to leave and sad to go all at the same time!”
Q: What advice might you have for other military spouses?
A: “Reach out, volunteer, and join up! Before kiddos the best way I found ‘my people’ was through work or local volunteering. Once we had very young children, it became library reading groups and playground meetups. When they started school, I met fellow parents volunteering at after school events and activities. I’ve tried to grow my support group to include military spouses as well as local folks. A friend once told me that they didn’t enjoy volunteering like I did, it wasn’t fulfilling for her. I explained that it wasn’t personally rewarding to me either, I just really liked the people I got to hang out with while we worked. Moving away from family meant that I built my own military family at each base we’ve lived at.”
Q: Do you have any Monterey-specific advice for families who might be moving here this summer? What is your favorite part of being stationed here in Monterey?
A: “Embrace the tourist town! Go to a local show at the Forest Theatre, an outdoor theatre in Carmel. Meet friends for a fire on Carmel Beach or next to Asilomar Beach. Rent E-bikes and ride along the coast. Take the kids or pup for a walk in Jack’s Peak Park. It’s different living somewhere without a traditional base. The commissary feels far away even though it’s less than 10 minutes, and nothing about Monterey feels ‘normal’ for our military family. Whether it’s two years or five, we know it’s only temporary! We try to plan one new adventure a month to keep things fresh.”
Liz Dalton, Navy spouse, Cmdr. Matthew Dalton, commander of Information Warfare Training Command Monterey
Q: How long have you been a military spouse? Were you also in the military or was the military lifestyle new to you?
A: “I have been an official military spouse for almost 18 years (about 17 years and two weeks to be exact). However, my husband and I dated for four years, while he was attending the Naval Academy. I think this should count too because it prepared me for the whole military spouse gig, miles apart, hard to communicate and seeing each other once every few months.
This lifestyle was completely new to both of us. We both grew up in the same Phoenix suburb. Our parents taught in the same school district, and we went to the neighboring all boy and all girl Catholic schools. In addition, I went to the same college as most of my high school friends. So pretty much we lived in the same place, around the same people are whole lives up until the Navy decided where to send us.”
Q: Tell us about your most memorable military spouse experience. Do you have a favorite duty station or dream duty location?
A: “Such a hard question. Every time our PCS process begins, I tell my kiddos the same thing, ‘How lucky are we to have lived in so many places that we love and will miss so much.’ Each duty station has been my favorite for a different reason. We have had 11 so far, so crazy to think about. I love all the duty stations where my kiddos were born (Lackland Air Force Base, Buckley AFB and Yokosuka Naval Base). I love Andrews AFB because my son Tate, who was seven months at the time, learned how to say helicopter in sign language there. He would constantly put is eyes to the sky every time he saw a helicopter take off or land and make the sign. We also had the best seats for the air show in our front yard. I loved Naval Amphibious Base Coronado because it is where we started this crazy Navy journey and later survived COVID times. Although, the second move there nearly stripped my sanity and resolve to continue this Navy journey. However, once things calmed down, we made best friends in our neighborhood and had the opportunity to live close to family again. I loved living the civilian lifestyle for one year in Chicago. I loved that my kids survived a Chicago winter, putting on all their snow gear before making the .3-mile walk to school on snowy days.
I loved Japan the first time around when I learned the amazing support system that MILspouses create. When my middle child was hospitalized, while Matt was out to sea, I literally had to hand over my infant and kindergartner to other military spouses, so I could be at the hospital 24/7. Thinking about it today, I still get chills remembering how they stepped up and became my family, when mine was so far away. I loved Japan the second go round, when my daughter got to experience Japanese preschool. Such an incredible opportunity for all of us to truly experience another culture. I loved the house we bought in Virginia, in the most perfect neighborhood with amazing neighbors. Even though it wasn’t an official duty station, I loved that the kids and I got to move back in with my dad in Arizona for a few months, while Matt was TDY. The kids got the opportunity to be around grandparents daily. It’s so fun to think about all the regular family memories we have made in the backdrop of so many different places.”
Q: What advice might you have for other military spouses?
A: “When my friends from back home say, ‘I don’t know how you move so much.’ My answer is pretty simple: ‘Our family routines don’t change each time we move, just the four walls around us. We eat the same meals, do the same chores, have the same family rules and same furniture year after year. That makes change easier. Once all the boxes are unpacked, pictures are hung and furniture is placed, it feels like home.’ You will find your people and so will your kids. Right before every move, I panic that I’m not going to be able to find friends and neither will my kids. This has never happened! Your family will always find its place. Some moves are more challenging. However, being a part of this community means we are all in this together. If your transition is difficult, reach out to others, they will help.
Lastly, when I’m struggling with the hardships that accompany deployments and moves, I remember the blessings that this lifestyle brings. As military families, we get to see so many amazing places. I have definitely seen more in the last 18 years than I could ever have imagined. Secondly, our kiddos get to learn about sacrifice, resiliency, and flexibility. In a world that sometimes feels very self-centered, I love that my kids get to truly understand what it means to be a part of a community that teaches people how to put the ‘bigger picture’ before themselves.”
Q: Do you have any Monterey-specific advice for families who might be moving here this summer? What is your favorite part of being stationed here in Monterey?
A: “Monterey is amazing. There is so much to do, but still has a small-town feel. Before you move to Monterey, watch the Netflix series on National Parks with Barrack Obama. One of the episodes is all about Monterey Bay. It will get you excited about moving here. Honestly, we have not done much outside of the Monterey Bay Area but all the hiking, exploring, and eating we have done close to home has been great.”
Jeffrey Molinary, Army spouse of Sgt. Valerie Guash, religious affairs noncommissioned officer
Q: How long have you been a military spouse? Were you also in the military or was the military lifestyle new to you?
A: “I’ve been a military spouse since the Spring of 2018. I am also a veteran. I served from 2013 to 2017, stationed in Kansas and Colorado.”
Q: Tell me about your most memorable military spouse experience.
A: “My most memorable moment was not being able to PCS with my wife to Korea and deciding to stay in Alabama with a newborn and a kindergartener. It created a new perspective that I did not have, about how hard military life is from the spouses/family point of view.”
Q: Do you have a favorite duty station or dream duty location?
A: “Easy, Colorado. Anywhere, I lived in Colorado Springs and Pueblo and have seen the Denver area and would love to go back there. I’ve seen the area around [Joint Base Lewis McChord] in Washington state and is an area that reminds me of Colorado and wouldn’t mind being there as well.”
Q: What advice might you have for other military spouses? Do you have any Monterey-specific advice for families who might be moving here this summer?
A: “For my fellow spouses and from my point of view, my advice is to use every and any resource available to us. If you don’t know there are employment networks dedicated to helping us, find rewarding careers with employers that understand the situation we are in, every couple of years.
Plan and look at military housing as an option. Monterey can be a huge hit to the military family budget if not used to being in high-cost areas. Additionally, enjoy the outdoors, Monterey is one of the best military areas in the CONUS region, with a variety of activities that can be done all year long, which is a contrast to places like Drum, Irwin and Riley.”
Q: What is your favorite part of being stationed here in Monterey?
A: “I’m a little biased here, but the weather. I grew up in the tropics and being in a place where I can wear as much or as little clothing as I want, regardless of the weather.”
Athena Thiel, Army spouse, Maj. Robert Thiel, foreign area officer (in training)
Q: How long have you been a military spouse? Were you also in the military or was the military lifestyle new to you?
A: “I’ve been a military spouse for three years. I did not serve in the military, so the lifestyle was new to me. I’m continuing to learn what it means to be a military spouse, through my own experience as well as listening to others. However, I'm not sure that learning will ever end — which is quite exciting to me.”
Q: Tell me about your most memorable military spouse experience.
A: “The most memorable experiences for me are when we get together as a military community to cheer on our spouses for their accomplishments. It reminds me how remarkable my husband is, how many amazing opportunities this military life gives us, and how lucky we are to be part of this big, beautiful community — all going through this life together. There’s such a sense of patriotism and camaraderie, it’s my favorite!”
Q: What advice might you have for other military spouses?
A: “To look at this life through the lens of opportunity. There are so many opportunities that it has to offer. To learn to think outside the box. To search for different ways of looking at things. This life is different, so we get to live differently! How fun and empowering it is when you look at it like that.”
Q: Do you have any Monterey-specific advice for families who might be moving here this summer? What is your favorite part of being stationed here in Monterey?
A: “Where do I start? I absolutely love Monterey! There’s so much to do here, Cannery Row, the Aquarium, the Wharf, 17 Mile Drive. Pacific Grove, Carmel-by-the-Sea and Carmel Valley are all such fun places to spend some time. You can take an easy day trip to Santa Cruz or Big Sur. We love going to San Francisco, Sacramento and even Los Angeles on longer weekends. It’s so nice to come back to little Monterey after visiting big, busy cities. Since Monterey is a National Marine Sanctuary there’s tons of incredible wildlife to see. It’s simply beautiful here.”
| Date Taken: | 05.11.2023 |
| Date Posted: | 05.11.2023 10:48 |
| Story ID: | 444527 |
| Location: | CALIFORNIA, US |
| Web Views: | 62 |
| Downloads: | 0 |
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