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Like other military messaging campaigns, Suicide Prevention Month is one that needs attention for more than a page in a wall calendar.
September is Suicide Prevention Month, and it is necessary to bring awareness to this issue. However, unlike an observance for an ethnic group or an awareness campaign on keeping safe from cyber sleuths, the suicide campaign is one many people do not want to talk about, but we must. And we must talk about it often.
Suicide prevention messages are becoming louder and more persistent, and are promoted widely, from academic settings to the NFL, and from Buckingham Palace to the construction industry.
The Army’s theme this year is “You are the light in somebody’s life.” The message is encouraging everyone to reach out to fellow Soldiers, family members, friends, and colleagues, to let them know there is someone who cares.
Speaking personally, this is a very relevant message. When someone feels so low and the persistent thoughts in your head remind you of your lack of worth or meaning, it would be helpful to know there is at least one person who sees you, hears you, thinks you matter.
My attempt at suicide came in my early 30s. I can remember how I was about to carry out my demise, what I wrote in my note, and even what I wore for this “occasion.” I have no idea why I didn’t pull the hammer back then pull the trigger. While I backed out of my attempt, I certainly was not out of danger.
I prayed, no, begged God to show me just one person who thought I was worth something, worth saving. It was a struggle to hide my hopelessness at my job, but there were times I think I pulled it off. The term smiling depression was not used in the 1990s, but I have since learned that this is a growing struggle for people with depression. Smiling to mask what is going on inside your head is exhausting. This sham can either cover the dark thoughts so others will not worry, or to not appear as weak or needy.
The day after I pleaded for God to show me that one person, a beautiful bouquet of flowers was delivered to my desk while I was out grabbing lunch. When I returned, everyone in the office was excited for me and wanted to know if I had a new admirer who might have sent them. The card had a sweet note, but no name was included.
After I cried a few tears over the lovely and mysterious gesture, I called the florist and asked who sent the flowers. The florist said she could not tell me. I resigned myself to never knowing who had brightened my gloomy existence.
An hour later a dear friend, a single mother who could barely make ends meet, called me at work and skipped saying hello and went straight to “You had to be nosey!” She told me she felt God had placed on her heart to send me flowers, even though she was not fully aware why. I told her about my pleading with God. My prayer was answered.
I still have the card from the bouquet, and I am still friends with that beautiful and obedient friend. She was a light in my life – still is. She told me that I am somebody.
The flowers and the comforting words from my friend have never been forgotten, however, I still suffer with depression and suicide ideation. I still have that exhausting smiling depression.
To me, the ideation is like the buzz you hear from old fluorescent light fixtures, or when your ears ring. The thoughts are just there in your head, sometimes a whisper, sometimes a cacophony of screams telling you very negative thoughts.
The smiling depression that many of us have makes reaching out difficult. A person can seem like there is not a care in the world, and then wrestle with sad thoughts and ideas in private.
I don’t know if one day my head will clear as if it were a beautiful, blue sky after a severe thunderstorm, or if this is the millstone I will have to carry for the rest of my life. I do take medications for my depression and anxiety, and sometimes see my therapist.
However, I wish there were a button I could push, and this would all go away. Go away for everyone.
The theme of the campaign also speaks to me from the other end of the spectrum. I also need to reach for that light by choosing to be amongst the living and not hiding in my house. I need to dive into a worthwhile project, volunteer at a charity, or just take stale bread and feed some wildlife in a park.
Being a light in somebody’s life does not have to be a bouquet of flowers. A call, a pat on the back, sharing a funny meme or an inspirational quote can be a huge gesture to someone so lost in their despair. And if you don’t know if someone has smiling depression, reach out anyway just to let others know they crossed your mind.
We seem to have lost the art of connecting, even before the 2020 pandemic that sent us all indoors and away from each other. I’m encouraging all of us at Redstone to reach out to one person with a call, or a card, or a chat over lunch, to say you are worth something, you are worth saving. Be that light.
Army
| Date Taken: | 09.14.2023 |
| Date Posted: | 12.18.2023 16:41 |
| Story ID: | 460270 |
| Location: | US |
| Web Views: | 43 |
| Downloads: | 0 |
This work, Commentary: Be the light for suicide awareness, by Terri Stover, identified by DVIDS, must comply with the restrictions shown on https://www.dvidshub.net/about/copyright.
