Photo By Staff Sgt. Andrew Alvarado | A frame belonging to Maj. Benjamin Quintanilla Jr., Air Force Mortuary Affairs...... read more read more
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DOVER AIR FORCE BASE, Del. --
Air Force Mortuary Affairs Operations chaplains recently hosted Caregiver Training for Army and Air Force active duty, guard and Reserve chaplains and their religious support personnel. The goal of the course was to facilitate self-improvement while demonstrating an understanding of AFMAO’s mission of providing care, service and support for families of the fallen.
“We bring our whole resiliency team together to provide this two-day course where chaplains are gleaning and learning from the mission here at Dover Air Force Base,” said Maj. Benjamin Quintanilla Jr., AFMAO senior chaplain. “It’s a fun environment, but also a sacred and solemn space.”
The training touched on recognizing signs that point to where a person may be in their journey with grief. This prompts the caregiver to provide the appropriate comforting presence.
“One of the key takeaways that we like our students to leave here with is ‘I am companioning this person in their wilderness,’” Quintanilla said. “It’s important for us as caregivers to pick up the cues and indicators people are providing us.”
Now on its second iteration, the workshop has evolved over the past year to include a more all-encompassing approach involving families of the fallen. The point of the training is to equip the chaplain corps with the skills necessary to provide support on a local level.
“Scalable operations is the shift in the mindset of our training and curriculum, these days,” Quintanilla said. “It is no longer only about coming to AFMAO and serving during a dignified transfer, but knowing what you can take from what we do here at this mission and implement it at your home station.”
The training emphasized the need for empathy as attendees learn to join the bereaved in a way that brings clarity and grace. The caregivers learned that the needs of each survivor are unique to the individual.
“You meet the family at a point where there’s pain,” said Capt. Kurt Hartley, an Army chaplain attending the course. “The old adage is ‘pain shared is pain divided.’ You have a chance to divide that pain out with them.”
Hartley aims to ease the pain of those he supports. Conversely, he understands how uplifting moments can be amplified through fellowship with others.
“But the flip side of that coin is ‘Joy shared is joy multiplied,’” said Hartley. “As you’re helping them bring those fond memories back, you have a chance to be an additional partner who can share in that joy.”
The foundation of the training revolves around the need for self care to maximize the impact attendees have in the lives of others. The limit of their help is directly tied to their capacity to heal and experience growth themselves.
“That's what I hope this training continues to do,” Quintanilla said. “I hope it continues to meet the needs of the caregiver. The caregiver can only take those they care for as far as they’re willing to go.”
Quintanilla personally experienced loss when his mother passed away a couple of years before his assignment at AFMAO. Her passing brought a profound sense of pain.
“The most impactful person I’ve lost in my life was my mom,” Quintanilla said. “It shook my world. It made me see, understand and experience grief in a very different way.”
His time supporting the mortuary mission helped him confront his grief, enabling him to reminisce on time with his mother more easily. While training for a half-marathon, Quintanilla experienced confirmation that his transition to healthy mourning was steadily improving.
"During one of my last runs for my training, I’m coming across a turn, and there’s this beautiful cardinal,” Quintanilla said. “For my wife and I, the cardinal symbolizes those who have passed.”
Quintanilla smiled, knowing the tears that followed represented his mother’s love for him. He hopes others will observe the world around them to gain a similar sense of closure and encouragement.
“It was as if Mom knew we were running for her and in her honor,” Quintanilla said. “It’s this full-circle moment where it all comes together. That’s what these blessings are for me, as we take the moments we’ve had with those we’ve lost, and get to relive them in the moment.”
The memory of Quintanilla’s mother continues to inspire him as he guides others. He recognizes how grief will bring different emotional responses to the griever at different times.
“I think in grief you’re going to have paradoxical moments,” said Quintanilla. “You’re going to have sadness, but you’re going to have moments of joy.”
Quintanilla explains that a journey while experiencing grief will eventually create a confidence that allows individuals to move toward healing. How secure a person feels in the low and high moments of life will give way to more joyous moments as people remember loved ones.
“Grief allows us to navigate within those two realms,” Quintanilla said. “The more comfortable we are, the greater the celebration toward the end.”
| Date Taken: | 09.10.2024 |
| Date Posted: | 09.26.2024 13:22 |
| Story ID: | 481860 |
| Location: | DOVER AIR FORCE BASE, DELAWARE, US |
| Web Views: | 58 |
| Downloads: | 0 |
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