Photo By Senior Airman Christopher Ornelas | Kristen Christy, a master resilience trainer and resiliency expert, shared her story...... read more read more
VANCE AIR FORCE BASE, Okla. – Kristen Christy, a master resilience trainer and resiliency expert, shared her story of losing her husband to suicide and her journey to healing with Airmen at Vance Air Force Base, Sept. 11, 2024.
After the suicide death of Kristen's first husband, Lt. Col. Don Christy, Kristen's family grappled with the lasting trauma for years. It took a long time for Kristen to realize that suicide is not only a tough subject but one few people are trained to cope with.
"If we ask someone if they are thinking about suicide, what are we going to do if they say yes?'" Kristen said. "It's hard to ask the question when you fear what the answer might be. But if they say yes, that means they trust you enough to be open."
It took 10 years for Kristen to open up about her story.
For service members, pursuing mental health services is often shadowed by the fear of missing out on preferred assignments, being overlooked for deployment or facing the prospect of being placed on “Duties Not Including Flying” status.
"In the Air Force, we say integrity first, and that means being honest," Kristen said. "Service before self is hard because we've got to take care of ourselves before we can serve."
Because the term “mental health” carries a stigma, Kristen prefers “vector check,” a term used in the military to validate one's direction of navigation. "Getting a vector check is important because if you go off course by even one degree, you may end up miles away from your target," Kristen said. "And maybe that target is something you really want in life."
Growing up a military child and eventually becoming a military spouse, Kristen knows the power of military communities. That is why she travels to visit with Airmen across the globe today—to remind them of the power of their community.
After her husband’s suicide, "I made one phone call, and our living room and kitchen were full of people," Kristen said. "I remember every single face 16 years later because our community came and wrapped their arms around us.
“Community happens in simple ways. It happens when we invite someone we just met for a cup of coffee, when Airmen get to know each other outside of uniform or when we seek out a mentor or a mentee,” she said.
"I dealt with guilt and shame for 10 years before I started talking about our story," she said. "Now I realize it wasn't guilt. It was regret. Guilt is dealing with the consequences when you do something knowingly wrong. Regret is when you do your best with the tools you have, and then the consequences are not what you wanted as an outcome,” Kristen said.
“Life is an emotional battlefield, but with resources and community, we can march forward and conquer together,” Kristen said. “Suicide prevention is not a one-month thing. It requires a lifetime of training.”
Kristen said she shares her story in hopes of opening a dialogue about the stigmas of seeking mental health care, which is essential not just for the military but for people from all walks of life. Her message highlights the importance of asking for help, admitting when one is not okay and the healing power of community.
EDITOR’S NOTE: If you or anyone you know is in crisis, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline by dialing or texting 988. To speak to the Veterans Crisis Line, dial 988, press 1, or text 838255.
| Date Taken: | 09.26.2024 |
| Date Posted: | 10.01.2024 09:17 |
| Story ID: | 482188 |
| Location: | ENID, OKLAHOMA, US |
| Web Views: | 14 |
| Downloads: | 0 |
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