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    United Against Abuse: Breaking the Silence

    BARSTOW, CALIFORNIA, UNITED STATES

    10.10.2024

    Story by Kristyn Galvan 

    Marine Corps Logistics Base Barstow

    Domestic Violence Awareness Month is a nationwide initiative aimed at increasing awareness regarding domestic violence. Each October, various organizations and individuals come together throughout the country to collectively address and highlight the needs, voices and experiences of survivors. Domestic violence impacts individuals across all age groups and demographics, encompassing not only physical abuse but also emotional and financial abuse.
    Michelle Adams, Behavioral Health office manager, stated, “Domestic violence does not discriminate, and it can happen to anyone regardless of race, ethnicity, financial status or educational level. It can also be many things to include physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and financial with many other subcategories falling underneath those. The Department of Defense looks at four categories of physical, emotional, sexual and neglect with multiple types falling underneath those four categories. More than one type of abuse also can occur to a person at one time. It can be serious as strangulation and homicide to a pattern of systematic power and control against a partner.”
    DVAM plays a vital role due to the following reasons: It provides education in recognizing the indicators of unhealthy relationships is essential for safeguarding ourselves and our peers, opens discussions about domestic violence contribute to dismantling the stigma, thereby facilitating access to support for those who endure abuse, and, most importantly, it fosters empowerment survivors and current victims to share their story. Adams expressed, regarding victims of domestic violence, that, “Usually abuse is slow and gradual. Abusers can be charming and start off with a lot of love bombing which is known as the honeymoon phase. Over time there starts to be some red flags with them gradually exerting power and control known as the tension building phase and then finally into some kind of violent act of abuse known as the incident or explosion. These phases can become more frequent over time and can even skip phases as abuse becomes more frequent jumping right from honeymoon to explosion at times. At times people might ask why don’t they just leave, there can be a lot of reasons from fear, shame, intimidation, lack of resources, disability, financial constraints, immigration status, children, cultural context and more. The time a victim leaves the relationship that they are in danger the most, that is why it is important to have a victim advocate and safety plan for leaving the relationship in a safe way.”
    Domestic violence manifests in various ways, including physical acts such as punching, slapping, and choking, as well as psychological tactics like threats, manipulation, and yelling, among others. Regardless of the circumstances, domestic violence is unacceptable in any form. “According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline website, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men aged 18 and older in the US have been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner and intimate partner violence alone affects more than 12 million people every year. The annual DoD Report on Child and Domestic Abuse for fiscal year 2022, there were 15,479 reports of domestic abuse, of which 8,307 incidents met criteria for abuse and of the met criteria abuse over 68 percent were physical abuse met criteria cases,” conveyed Adams.
    Domestic violence encompasses a range of behaviors, including insults, threats, emotional abuse, and sexual coercion. Certain offenders may manipulate children, pets, or other relatives as a means of emotional control to compel their victims to comply with their demands. Per Psychology Today, individuals who endure domestic violence often suffer from reduced self-esteem, heightened anxiety, depression, and an overarching feeling of powerlessness, which may require significant time and professional assistance to address and heal.
    “Abuse is a learned behavior. Abusers usually were abused as children in an environment that taught them that abuse was normal, and they often don’t see themselves as abusive. Others might have witnessed it among family members. Some learn it slowly through culture, friends, media, etc. When a person that was abused becomes the abuser themselves or when they end up in an abusive relationship as the victim this is known as the cycle of abuse,” Adams explained. “Abusive people believe that they have the right to control and restrict their partners lives and believe that their needs should be prioritized. They aim to tear down the equality in a relationship and make their partner feel they are unworthy or unloved and they enjoy exerting power over their partner.”
    According to Military One Source, it is essential to recognize that your role as an upstander involves supporting the victim's decisions rather than imposing your own judgments based on what you might do in their circumstances. Domestic abuse revolves around issues of power and control; therefore, one of the most effective ways to assist someone in an abusive relationship is to focus on empowering them to make their own choices regarding their safety and recovery.

    Eunice Vargas, a guest speaker for DVAM, a survivor, and an advocate at Desert Sanctuary in Barstow, California, eloquently expressed a profound sentiment by quoting Ella Fitzgerald: “It isn’t where you come from, it’s where you’re going that counts.” Recognizing the indicators of domestic abuse is arguably more crucial now than it has ever been. You might notice ambiguous social media updates that raise concerns about a friend or neighbor. It is also possible that a friend confides in you about their situation. Additionally, residing in close quarters, as is common in installations, may lead you to observe and hear evidence of abuse occurring next door.

    Aboard Marine Corps Logistics Base Barstow, the Family Advocacy Program provides assistance to individuals who have experienced domestic violence and abuse, offering services such as counseling, educational classes, and the support of dedicated advocates.
    Jennifer Grunwald, Family Advocacy Program Prevention & Education specialist, said “as a victim advocate, I constantly remind myself of the crucial role trust plays in the process of helping someone who lost their voice regain their livelihood. Many times, survivors feel powerless, stuck, and hopeless about the situation they are in and do not know who they can trust or what their options are. Building trust is a key part of our work, as it provides survivors with a sense of security and support.”

    Family members, friends, or other loved ones can serve as an upstander by facilitating connections to resources and organizations that provide assistance. Additionally, offering emotional support and inquiring about how you can assist them is crucial. Medical News Today reported that it is important to remember that, on average, individuals may require approximately seven attempts to exit an abusive situation. Keep this in mind while supporting others, and ensure you are present for them when they are ultimately prepared to seek help.

    “I am proud to say that I am able to help survivors feel empowered, not settle, and have a sense of hope that they will be safe and ultimately take back their lives. One of my goals is to empower survivors, give them a sense of help and control over their lives, and I am honored to be part of this journey.” Grunwald articulated.

    MCLB Barstow supports the 2024 DVAM theme, United Against Abuse, emphasizing the importance of breaking the silence by encouraging individuals to be upstanders rather than bystanders. It highlights our collective responsibility to understand the distinctions between healthy and unhealthy relationships, as well as to recognize the risks and signs associated with unhealthy dynamics. Furthermore, it underscores the importance of knowing how to refer individuals to appropriate resources when they require assistance.
    The activities that will be provided during this month, along with the ways in which these events support individuals affected by domestic violence are:
    October 1-30 - All month Find the Purple Ribbon Scavenger Hunt: There will be large purple ribbons hidden around base all throughout the month of October. After finding a Purple Ribbon, patrons can bring it to Behavioral Health in building 218 for a special prize!
    October 2 - 1000-1200, MCX, Bldg. 319, Resource Table. Patrons can come out and get Domestic Violence information and resources from 10 am – 12 pm while shopping at the exchange.
    October 3 - 0830-1000, Bldg. 38, DV Guest Speaker: Guest Speaker Eunice Vargas from Desert Sanctuary, will be speaking on her experiences with domestic violence and how she broke the silence! Open to all authorized patrons and light refreshments will be served.
    October 17 – The Last Drop Film Screening from 0900-1100 at Bldg. 38 is open to all patrons to view a 45-minute sci fi film on domestic abuse and gaslighting with opportunity for Q& A session after the film. Light refreshments will be served.
    Wear Purple Fridays: Every Friday in Oct: Post Selfie using #DVPM #UnitedAgainstDA #BreaktheSilence. Wear your favorite purple fashions and accessories and post a selfie using one or all of the hashtags to support survivors and bring awareness to domestic abuse.
    October 30 - 1600-1800, MCLB Parade Deck FAP Pumpkin Patch at the Annual Trunk O Treat. FAP will have pumpkins for family to pick out and take home with some pumpkins painted purple and some with DVPM hashtags on them. Family photo opportunity will also be available.
    In addition to the FAP, there are supplementary resources and hotlines available for individuals experiencing domestic violence or for those who are aware of someone in a difficult situation. Please reach out to the following numbers:
    FAP 24/7 Victim Advocate Helpline: 760-577-6484
    FAP main office: 760-8577-6533
    National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
    https://www.desert-sanctuary.org/

    NEWS INFO

    Date Taken: 10.10.2024
    Date Posted: 10.10.2024 13:36
    Story ID: 482927
    Location: BARSTOW, CALIFORNIA, US

    Web Views: 5
    Downloads: 0

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