Courtesy Photo | Spc. Chase Johnson, 725th Transportation Company gunner, sets up his M2 .50...... read more read more
Sgt. Rachel Brune
101st Sustainment Bde.
Q-WEST BASE COMPLEX, Iraq " Who knows what lurks in the heart of the desert?
If you, like the Soldiers of the 725th Transportation Company, drive the long, lonely roads of northern Iraq, you may have become aware of the phenomenon known as the Desert Sasquatch.
"It's Sasquatch-mania around the 725th," said Sgt. Jarrod Dennis, of Oakboro, N.C. Dennis, a member of his unit's gun truck platoon, first became aware of the existence of the creature during missions to Forward Operating Base Warrior, Iraq.
Dennis and his gun truck crew, Spc. Chase Johnson, of Fayetteville, N.C., and Spc. Christopher Snider, of Elkin, N.C., even named their truck after the elusive creature.
"They're about the same size," said Dennis. "I think my truck has bigger tires."
Large pits randomly strewn across the desert first tipped the gun truck crew to the existence of the Desert Sasquatch. They soon realized that the large holes in the ground were Desert Sasquatch fighting positions, said Johnson.
The blue flashlights, carried by Iraqi Police at traffic control points, are actually a force protection measure against the predations of the Sasquatch, added Johnson.
"They don't like blue lights, Pepsi cans, anything blue," said Johnson.
The Soldiers of the 725th, a National Guard unit from North Carolina, have traveled through many parts of Iraq since arriving in country in June, 2005. The Sasquatch crew began running missions together in August, said Dennis.
During that time, the Soldiers have seen many unexplained phenomena in their travels.
"Pretty much anything that happens outside the wire that you can't explain, the Desert Sasquatch has a hand in it," said Dennis.
The Soldiers created black-and-white stickers to publicize the Sasquatch Hunters' Society.
"[The Society] is all of us and a German shepherd named Klaus," said Johnson.
The stickers read: "Got Sasquatch?"
The Desert Sasquatch is unique for other reasons.
"He's the one creature on the planet with more body hair than Chuck Norris," said Dennis.
In a controlled environment, the martial arts superstar might be able to take on the desert warrior, but in his natural environment, the Sasquatch would be undefeated.
"He does eat people whole," said Dennis.
Unlike some other Bigfeet, the Desert Sasquatch is a loner, although he is reputed to be a master aviator, joined in the air by fellow Sasquatches as door gunners, according to Johnson and Dennis.
After becoming aware of the existence of the Desert Sasquatch, Johnson and Dennis researched the creature on such esteemed Internet sites as Google.com. They learned that the Desert Sasquatch has a North American relative, the Canadian Sasquatch, who likes French fries and gravy.
"And he drives a Dodge Caravan," said Dennis.
One distant cousin is the European Sasquatch, "Le Sasquatch."
"He's trashy," said Dennis.
The Desert Sasquatch may also be related to the Asian Yeti and the Australian Yowie, but neither was available for comment.
The truth, as they say, is out there.
An April Fools present from the 101st Sustainment Brigade Public Affairs Office.
| Date Taken: | 04.05.2006 |
| Date Posted: | 04.05.2006 10:13 |
| Story ID: | 5958 |
| Location: | QAYYARAH, IQ |
| Web Views: | 232 |
| Downloads: | 45 |
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