FORT POLK, La. — Alcoholism doesn’t happen overnight. There are many factors — layered one upon the other over time — that can prompt a person to succumb. Alcoholism is a familiar story, yet unique to each individual as they strive to reach a false sense of peace by desensitizing their personal pain.
April is national Alcohol Awareness Month. The observance focuses on the public health program organized by the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence as a way of increasing outreach and education regarding the dangers of alcoholism and issues related to alcohol, according to www.alcohol.org.
With that in mind, it seemed fitting to shed light on the chronic disease of alcoholism locally. A member of the Fort Polk community has stepped forward to bravely share his battle with this condition.
We’ll call him J.D. to protect his privacy.
In the beginning
At first, J.D. said his drinking was a gradually increasing issue that he didn’t realize had become an addiction. He said he grew up in a culture where drinking alcohol was the norm — making it even harder to distinguish when his habit became too much.
“Drinking is socially acceptable. You go to a social event like a barbecue and beer flows like water. You can buy liquor 24-hours a day at most convenience or grocery stores or head to a bar to get your fix. That easy access only made it harder to differentiate between fun and flagrant. The common place usage made it tough to acknowledge when I had crossed the line from social drinking to addiction,” he said.
Family
J.D.’s alcoholism put a strain on family relationships. His drinking made him pull away from them. Because he was drinking as soon as he got home from work, there were things he couldn’t do like go out to dinner with his wife. There weren’t a lot of extracurricular activities happening.
“It was more like ‘I’m home, I’m done, and it’s my time.’ It wasn’t my time, it was the alcohol’s time,” he said.
The biggest impact on his family is that there was no real togetherness and he said he lost their trust.
“You make promises to your kids and you don’t follow through because there is a bigger priority in your life — alcohol. At the time, you don’t realize you are doing it. Looking back I can see it so clearly. My life wasn’t about spending time with my wife and kids, it was about worrying when I could get my next drink,” he said.
I have a problem
J.D. said his drinking had ebbed and flowed all of his life. Looking back, he said the last couple of years began a quiet downward spiral that came to a head in January. That’s when he said he began to realize he might have a serious problem.
“I was dealing with depression and post-traumatic stress disorder nightmares. The drinking had gone from a way to relax after a hard day at work to self-medicating that helped dull the pain. It became a crutch,” he said. “The way I looked at it, the alcohol was helping me control the nightmares, but ultimately it ended up feeding the dreams and my addiction because I needed to drink more and more to numb myself. By the time I took a hard look at myself in the mirror and admitted that I had an issue, I was no longer drinking for a reason (to socialize or celebrate). The reason I drank was that it was 5:30 p.m. and I had access to a bottle of vodka.”
J.D. was at his breaking point and knew he needed treatment under medical care. He had a rough and emotional week and had been drinking to the point that things were quickly getting out of hand.
“I hadn’t reached rock bottom, but at that pivotal moment in my life I knew if I didn’t get help it wouldn’t be long before I would. My thoughts weren’t right; my mind wasn’t right; nothing was right. That was the trigger that made me think, ‘What are you doing?’” he said.
J.D. went to an emergency room and by the next morning he was in a rehabilitation center’s detox program.
Rehab
The first thing you do in rehab is detox. J.D. said the first three days of detox he shook so much that he didn’t have the coordination to shuffle a pack of cards. Concentration was difficult to come by.
“I was so jittery. I never realized that alcohol had that much control over me. It took me 12 days to completely detox and get the alcohol out of my system,” he said.
Then the rehabilitation process began. The program J.D. participated in was for veterans and their family members.
“Everyone I was in there with was a veteran. It was an eye opener as to how many veterans are suffering,” he said.
J.D. said his every moment was dictated by someone else and you don’t go anywhere without somebody locking and unlocking a door for you.
He said group session discussions center around triggers, emotional reasons why you use and other typical substance abuse counseling measures.
“All this and more is normal for in-patient therapy,” he said.
J.D. said though he no longer had the physical cravings for alcohol, undoing the years of mental habits that came with drinking was the bigger task.
“This is something I did every day. It’s 5:30 p.m. and why don’t I have a drink in my hand? You learn to deal with these issues right along with everyone else in rehab. After another two weeks, I was better but I knew if I walked out that door I wasn’t ready. It would be so easy to pick up a bottle and start drinking again,” he said.
He knew he still had work to do. He said he still had to learn how to deal with all the implications and repercussions of his addictions.
“When you come out of that process you are stronger for it and it helps you make better decisions every minute of the day to continue in the direction you want to go. Without going through a program like this, you will never see the big picture and realize what you have done to yourself through alcoholism.”
Looking back, J.D. said the hardest thing about being in rehab was knowing that he needed to be there.
J.D. said overall his rehab was a positive experience. He said it made him realize he’s not alone and yet he knew it was his battle to fight.
“From your family, friends and coworkers to the doctors, mental health technicians and other patients, you have a support system in place to get you through this experience and set you on a course to be strong enough to face your demons,” he said. “Even though you aren’t alone, nobody else can do it for you.”
After rehab
J.D. said when he first went to the hospital, his kids were angry with him, but they and his spouse were also supportive.
They visited and saw where he was living and J.D. believes it was a reality check for his boys that if they follow down the path their dad did, they could end up in the same kind of place.
He said that has opened the way for more personal conversations with his family.
“There’s more family social interaction and spending time with my kids. I’m catching up on all the time I missed. What I’m seeing is a rebuilding of relationships that weren’t necessarily broken, but were strained and damaged due to my alcoholism,” he said. “I feel healthier. I have more energy. I have more drive and desire to accomplish the little things that, before, I didn’t care about. I am simply happier in my personal and professional life.”
J.D. said there were other positive effects on his kids after they watched him own up to his struggles. He said he saw a rise in responsibility levels.
“They talk to me about what happens in their lives and own up about things they shouldn’t have done. Their trust has grown as our communication levels have risen,” he said.
His alcoholism had a huge negative affect on his family, but J.D. hopes that having tackled his issues openly and honestly through rehabilitation will lead to a positive long-term affect on them and the decisions they make in the future.
Motivation
J.D. said though alcoholism is something he realizes he will have to continue to deal with for the rest of his life, he feels he is up to the challenge of fighting that very personal battle and he will come out on top.
“My alcoholism was a failure, but I can learn from that and turn it into a success. In my mind, I ask, ‘why can’t you beat this?’ I recently went to an event and the only beverages being served were alcoholic. I thought that was going to be a struggle, but I told myself ‘you don’t drink anymore. Get something else to drink.’ So I faced that temptation and my personal motivation is to beat that temptation every time it presents itself,” he said. “I face that challenge every day and I know that I have the strength of will to beat it.”
J.D. said his other motivation is his family.
“I want to be around for all those moments that I’m lucky enough to still get to spend with my wife, teenagers, their older siblings and my grandchildren,” he said. “If all else fails, I have to do it for them.”
Get help
J.D. said his advice to people is to take a deep look at themselves and acknowledge when they might have an issue, even before it becomes a problem. He said he got medical help before things got worse, but he could have reached out even sooner.
“I think if you or others notice a trend of excessive drinking or you are making excuses to drink or any kind of substance abuse for that matter, you have to acknowledge it. I know that is extremely difficult, but you need to get help,” he said. “Talk to someone who has been where you are or a professional that can help you.”
J.D. said not to wait to get help, especially if they are Soldiers.
“Call the Army Substance Abuse Program, explain your situation and get ahead of your issues before the alcohol is controlling your life. Don’t wait until you are at your breaking point. The sooner you address it, the better off you will be,” he said.
For more information call ASAP at 531-2031/1964.
| Date Taken: | 04.03.2020 |
| Date Posted: | 04.03.2020 10:35 |
| Story ID: | 366520 |
| Location: | FORT POLK, LOUISIANA, US |
| Web Views: | 46 |
| Downloads: | 0 |
This work, Fighting alcoholism: One person’s insight into numbing pain, by Angie Thorne, identified by DVIDS, must comply with the restrictions shown on https://www.dvidshub.net/about/copyright.
